Sunday, April 07, 2013

Did Frank Bruni Write the NYT's Daftest (Most Daft?) Gun Column Yet?

I think so.  See for yourself.  There is so much stupidity combined with elitist New York presumption to unpack here it's makes my brain hurt.

First off, the column a classic of the genre where elitist libs go shooting for the fist time so that they can then feel qualified to propound to the rest of us their wisdom of all things firearms.  The device is typically infuriating to the knowledgable until such time as it inevitably results in comedy.  Bruni's piece is chock-a-block with such inadvertent comedy.  There's this:
...and it would be maybe 20 feet away when one of us took our shot, which wasn’t a single bullet but rather — Advantage No. 53 — a scattering of pellets.
Does Bruni have even a basic understanding of real world physics?  No hunter or shooter in the history of hunting and shooting - not even Chris Kyle - could hit a bird in flight with a "single bullet" except through sheer blind luck.  It's impossible, it's a waste of time to even think about it let alone endeavor to do it.  Of course, this is why human beings invented something called a "shotgun," which was specially designed to give humans a chance to hit and harvest birds in flight.  Further comedy emanates from the hoary old lament that hunting isn't fair.   "Advantage No. 53" is part of Bruni's column-long device making this lament.  (I am struggling to resist admonishing Bruni the way I admonish my 7 year old, "Who said life is fair?")  Yes, in the shotgun we have an advantage over our winged prey (unless you suck at shooting that is).  The anaconda has advantages over the field mouse.  The toad's forked, lightning fast, sticky tongue is an advantage over the fly.  There are innumerable unfair fights to which, in aggregate, we have given the name "the food chain" and humans are at the top for a reason.  More basic science that Bruni seems to be either unaware of or uncomfortable with.

More comedy.   Bruni is bewildered over why the safety button on his gun is so small and doesn't travel a greater distance between its on and off states.  Well Frank, for the same reason that the brake pedal in your car is smaller than your foot and you need only touch it to slow down significantly - safety devices on the modern machines in our world have been honed to be exactly where and what they need to be, no more no less, and proper experience and training lead to a second nature understanding of where safety buttons are and how to actuate them.

Next up, after Bruni gets through telling us how unpopular, or less popular, hunting actually is, he informs us of the proliferation of hunting preserves (over 300 in Pennsylvania alone!) that charge alot of money for what seems to the author a rather lame hunting experience.  So, hunting is unpopular but these preserves seem to be so numerous...?  Bruni clearly went to the Fox Butterfield School of Economics.  Of course the reason that these preserves have proliferated is because hunting is increasingly popular (and the reason they seem to be expensive, is because they can rip off ignorant city folk who don't know any better).

Bruni's column is a classic of the genre in another sense in that it attempts to advance a gun control agenda through the focus on hunting.  Lefties consistently try to use hunting as the basis for their argument even though the Second Amendment has nothing to do with hunting and the Founding Fathers never said anything like "No hunter shall be debarred the use of arms to bag a chukar."  Politically, as well, civilian disarmers consistently attempt to peel off hunters from the rest of the gun rights community.  So, even as an admitted novice, Bruni declares Colorado's recently passed gun control laws "totally reasonable."  To whom?  By what standard?  Well, to him naturally, and his fancy-pants chef friend.  If that isn't absolute moral authority, I don't know what is.  The good news is that Bruni intends to go hunting again someday.  Who knows, perhaps he'll go wild boar hunting and give us his first-timer impressions of felling a 300 lbs. sow with an AR-15 and declare the Second Amendment a manifestation of a racist, patriarchal fear of the Other.  Can't wait.

Anyway, such are the results when you let your restaurant critic take on social/political issues.  Did the Frank Rich experiment go so well that the poo-bahs at the NYT had to bring yet another lifestyle columnist to the Op-Ed pages?


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