From the Bureau of Orwellian Bullshit

Breaking:  Man-made disaster affects Boston Marathon.  Very likely due to Tea Party extremists, so no overseas contingency operations will needed in response.  It is important for all citizens to remember that we are not at war with Islam, which is a religion of peace.  As our President has said, it is tragic when such things occur without any clear reason why.  Let us not forget that the most important thing is for us to begin the process of healing...